What’s something about being a teenager in Baltimore that you wish more people understood? The Baltimore Sun’s My City, My Voice essay contestposed this simple but revealing question to Baltimore teens to offer a population that is often talked to or talked about a platform to shape the narrative about themselves. Some 140 teens from more than 80 Baltimore neighborhoods responded, revealing how Baltimore’s distinct challenges can compound the universal challenges of adolescence as well as celebrating their city’s and their own triumphs. These are a selection of the essays received. Denoted with asterisks, the winning essays, whose authors spoke at a roundtable discussion on Wednesday hosted by The Sun, are presented first.
I just wanted to be a kid for once. That rare night out flipped how I feel about becoming an adult.
Free. That’s what my friends and I felt one surprisingly warm October night as we drove around Towson. I had grown up inside of my home, not allowed to go anywhere with anyone, as the streets were too dangerous. My entire life was “Did you hear about … what happened at …?”
There is no place for teenagers in Baltimore. It’s just a cycle of keeping an eye out for possible danger that is everywhere. If you walk for long enough, you’ll hear gunshots off in the distance, a grown man trying to holla at a girl, young or old, police and ambulance sirens closing in. Everyone says New York is “the city that never sleeps” but living in Baltimore, I beg to differ.
Asking my mother a question like “Can I go out with friends?”, something she has said “no” to so many times before was the most nerve-wracking thing to me. This time, I hoped she’d say yes. She had to. I was an “A” and “B” student. I was about to turn 18. I was a good kid who just wanted to be a kid at least once before it was over.
The thought of turning 18 was, to me, not a fun one like people made it out to be. Turning 18 in Baltimore was an inevitable fear. Eighteen meant needing to have a job even if you hated it. Eighteen meant soon being questioned by family and friends whether you had a man and when were you going to have kids. At 18, Baltimore started looking like an invisible box, walking up and down the same street you grew up on, to go to work and to come home, and nothing else, that is, until God called you home. I didn’t want any of that, but it felt inevitable.
Shockingly, my mother said yes. That night, we went bowling, walked around the mall, ate, and laughed. We piled into a friend’s mother’s minivan and drove around until it was time to go home, having already planned the next time we would go out.
That night lit something inside me. Something clicked, something hot, something that made my heart swell beyond my chest, something that made my mind wander beyond the few streets of Baltimore City that I knew. That night being 18 in Baltimore wasn’t the end, but my beginning.
— Chanée Howard, 18, Franklin Square*
Expecting the worst out of teens is a stereotype that fulfills and perpetuates itself.
When I was younger I felt as though I could be anything and that nothing could stop me from being what I wanted to be. But now, I feel something different. Teens in Baltimore are capable of extraordinary things, but people don’t seem to care enough to see it.
My parents are some of those adults who want to believe in me to graduate and go to college. But they don’t see what I see, feel what I feel, or even think what I think. Can you believe that my dad thought I couldn’t get into Western High School? He told me not in a sour way but in a surprised voice. I didn’t know how to feel. But I felt like most teenagers in Baltimore — “dumb” — even if they won’t admit it, ’cause, if someone close didn’t believe in me, how could I?
You see, when I look on social media on those Baltimore pages, I don’t see anything about teenagers doing anything great. Instead, I see teenagers who either committed a crime or have died. The adolescents who live in Baltimore will always be thought about in this way simply because we follow the adolescents before us.
People don’t say, “Oh yeah, didn’t a teenager get an award there last month?” Instead, they say, “Didn’t a boy die ’cause he was dealing with gangs?” But that boy could’ve been remembered by something else.
This is who they are supposed to be. When we are brought up, people don’t say, “Oh yeah, didn’t a teenager get an award there last month?” Instead, they say, “Didn’t a boy die ’cause he was dealing with gangs?” But that boy could’ve been remembered by something else. He could’ve been a well-known artist remembered by his art and not violence. The thing is that teenagers here will always end up in a bad situation because we are following adults here and we will soon tell our teens the same statements.
We only know what we see and hear. We don’t know what we can show and tell because there is no one there to truly believe in us. Being a teen in Baltimore shouldn’t be in the way of me and others being someone great. Teenagers in Baltimore are capable of extraordinary things but they don’t know how to share their abilities, nor does it seem people care enough to see them. So I just sit, put my headphones on and see what most adults can’t.
— Jaylah James, 15, Edmondson Village*
In a city of contrasts, drugs and guns are opportunities that can knock persistently.
As a teenager living in Baltimore, I wish people understood how easy it was to make bad decisions. I am an immigrant, hailing from Nigeria. I immigrated well over seven years ago, coming to live in eastern Baltimore. My time living as a teenager in Baltimore has come with many perks, and penalties as well. Baltimore is extremely culturally diverse, with its residents saluting from many different places in the world. Because of this, I have been open to loads of different points of view, and the dissimilar ways that people see life. Nevertheless, there is one thing that many Baltimoreans can agree on: the danger that comes with living in our city. There are countless examples of why Baltimore is so dangerous, which is constantly covered by the media. However, no one has ever truly expanded on how much more threatening it is as a teen living in Baltimore City.
Everywhere I go, I am met with persistent examples of why Baltimore is so rich: the art, the food, the music, etc. Nonetheless, I am also faced with reasons why it is so easy to be led astray in this city. To say that the opportunities in Baltimore are endless would not be an understatement, but that does not always have good meaning behind it. As a teenager in this city, it is almost impossible to avoid an experience with some form of illegality, especially when it comes to substances. I am almost ashamed to speak about how easy it would be for me to obtain some form of drugs, guns, and even more as a teenager. To say that it is practically normal for people my age to have experience with this would be an understatement. I am enraged at how easy it is to be led astray as a young person. I am frustrated that there are not enough set laws and regulations in place that prevent this. However, in spite of all of this, I am disheartened that experience in these topics is viewed as customary, just because I happen to be a teenager who lives in Baltimore.
— Victoria Atewogbola, 14, Belair-Edison*
To try to fit in, I was changing who I was. I caught myself, but too many teens don’t.
To put it simply, the city of Baltimore is a tough hill to climb; it’s a hill that so many fail to climb, especially teenagers. It’s a hill that needs to be climbed in order to navigate your way through this city.
Being a teenager in Baltimore can feel like walking through a room with no lights. Many teenagers feel lost. Many teenagers feel a constant need to fit in that can lead them to make poor decisions out of fear of being picked on for not fitting in.
When I migrated from Trinidad to Baltimore I was met with a drastic culture change. The schools of Baltimore, the citizens of Baltimore, the places of Baltimore, etc. It was all so new to me, I felt out of place as if I wasn’t meant to be here. Wherever I spoke others looked at me as though my words were secret codes only I knew. The kids thought of me as some alien that was attending their school from some alien planet they never heard of. All of this led to me making decisions I should have left as just thoughts, such as changing who I was in order to be accepted. I did all of this as a shield to protect me from the poisonous arrows that came after every laugh, every negative comment, every bit of embarrassment.
So many teenagers have taken the wrong road as I almost did. Some don’t even realize they are going the wrong way until they no longer recognize their surroundings or even themselves as they are too far gone.
Looking back I realize that many teenagers have been through this; they are going through it right now as I write down these words. Teenagers in Baltimore are lost in the dark room searching for the light. It’s time that more people help those teenagers find the light by understanding their struggles. So many teenagers have taken the wrong road, as I almost did. Some don’t even realize they are going the wrong way until they no longer recognize their surroundings or even themselves as they are too far gone. But there is always hope. Impossible only exists if you don’t believe in possible. You don’t water the leaves of a plant, you water the roots. It’s time we look for the root of the problem before we start attacking what’s on the outside. Teenagers of Baltimore are heavily influenced by others; it’s time to limit this influence and open the gate to let the true love of Baltimore flow once again. It’s never too late.
— Brandi Gonzales, 14, Cheswolde*
People know Baltimore’s quirks and problems. But they don’t know me.
Being a teenager in Baltimore can be intimidating. Most people have an idea of what you should be like, talk like, and act like, but I don’t fit in any of those boxes. The majority of people get their information from social media and occasionally the news, though it isn’t as popular in this generation. Platforms like TikTok, Instagram and X, formerly Twitter, have made it a common thing to categorize people from Baltimore claiming they know us from the way we say “tew” or based on how we dance. But I wish people understood that not all of us are the same or fit in that box.
I personally don’t want to be defined by my environment. Just because I live in Park Heights doesn’t mean I sell drugs. Just because I work in Mondawmin Mall doesn’t mean I witness shootings all the time. These are just a few of the fixed assumptions people make about people from Baltimore City. I couldn’t be more opposite. I am usually shy and avoid meeting new people. If I see a crowd of people, I’m quick to go another way even if it means it takes me longer to get to my destination. I work at Mondawmin Mall because it’s close and convenient. I’ve never had alcohol or drugs and don’t plan on doing so. I haven’t gotten into a fight since middle school, and I hate dancing in public. I wish people understood that a lot of teens have goals and want to leave this city but often don’t have the opportunities or financial stability to do so.
Sometimes even our family holds us back, whether that is because they need us to take care of our younger siblings or for more selfish reasons. Too many of us are young moms and feel that that’s our sole responsibility and we can’t leave or dedicate time to school because we’re too busy being moms. I know this could apply to people all over the world, but I think people don’t really expect successful people from Baltimore or have lost hope, especially for teens. Living in Baltimore, a city of lost souls, poverty and crime doesn’t define me. I will always put my best foot forward and continue to strive for the best, regardless of what people think even if that means I’ll have to do it on my own.
— Amirah Haney, 18, Arlington*
Gunshots can have a long echo for the young bereaved like me.
Do you know how hard it is for teenagers to grow up with one parent? Growing up with one parent is hard and it’s very sad and stressful. Being a teenager in Baltimore, there’s a lot of killing that takes people’s families away from them, seeing a loved one just be gone forever. People should understand that it’s hard and it could change the person mentally and emotionally by losing a loved one.
During my childhood, I always spent time with my dad, always having fun around the people he was around and feeling loved. At the age of 6, my dad was taken away from me by gun violence and I was never going to be able to see him again. The rest of my childhood was good because I didn’t realize the loss I had until I got older. My dad’s death wasn’t impacting me because I was so young. I just knew that I wasn’t seeing him anymore; even at his funeral, I wasn’t sad.
As I got older I started to get sadder. I tried to stay connected with my dad’s side of the family that I would always be around but eventually, we fell off. Finally hearing the story of how my dad passed was creating anger in me. I started to put my guard up with everyone; I didn’t trust anyone. My mom started to see the change in me. I wasn’t letting anyone in and didn’t talk about my feelings at all. I became very calm and emotionless about everything.
I had no other parent to go to when I and my mom got into an argument like other kids did. Seeing my cousins have a good relationship with their dads would sometimes hurt me because I wish I could have that.
The way I changed started to affect all of my relationships. I was going through changes mentally and more and more people started to realize something was wrong. Every time I had to talk about my feelings, I shut down. Having only one parent was hard at times. I had no other parent to go to when I and my mom got into an argument like other kids did. Seeing my cousins have a good relationship with their dads would sometimes hurt me because I wish I could have that.
As a teenager in Baltimore, I want people to understand that gun violence kills family members and it impacts us by causing us to change mentally and emotionally.
—Laithan Phillips, 15, Perring Loch
Baltimore is brimming with passion. I see it, but more people need to be shown it.
A
s expected, Baltimore is defined as an “urban” area. According to the Department of Health, urban areas are “”locations with high population density.” However, as a society, we have labeled the word urban as another word for Black. Some may also argue that “urban” has a negative connotation. Despite knowing that, I am proud to say I am from an urban area. I am proud to say I am from Baltimore.
When people think of Baltimore, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Poverty? Drugs? Even murder? As someone who has lived in Baltimore for as long as I can remember, I can tell you Baltimore is so much more than that.
Baltimore bleeds passion from every crack and crevice. Growing up in Baltimore, you realize that there is passion all around you. Everyone wants to have a grind; everyone wants to have a hustle. From little girls braiding hair, to boys cutting hair. People from this city want others to succeed. They want another success story about how someone from their city made it. They want inspiration and proof that they can reach their goals while being from a city that is portrayed so negatively.
People from this city want others to succeed. They want another success story about how someone from their city made it. They want inspiration and proof that they can reach their goals while being from a city that is portrayed so negatively.
I’d say Baltimore is the hidden gem of cities. When you think of places you want to visit or potentially live,Baltimore is usually not on the list. It is overlooked, despite being one of the most beautiful, passionate and hearty cities out there.
No other place goes as hard for their city as Baltimore. We rock Ravens jerseys as if the last time we made it to the Super Bowl wasn’t 2013. The whole city makes a ruckus over the Poly vs. City homecoming game, despite us knowing who wins before the game even begins. You know you’re in Baltimore when you see people rocking Under Armour like it’s designer. You know you’re in Baltimore when you see a group of girls and they’re all wearing puff-sleeved denim jackets. We are the type of city that despite any “beef” we may have with people, we know when Lor Scoota comes on it’s time to put that all aside. We’re the type of city that has everyone mesmerized when pronouncing “to” and “you.” Baltimore is the type of city to have a mayor with an Afro. Baltimore is much more than what they show in the media.
— Empress Rasheem, 16, Hamilton Hills
How does it feel to be a teen? Under-understood.
Being a teen in Baltimore ain’t an easy life. When you are living in a fast world, it’s hard to balance growing up fast to adapt to society but not too fast to be seen as fast.
Around my peers, I always feel like I’m behind in something as if I’m too short on something. I’m always the “No, I don’t smoke” friend, the “I don’t go to parties” friend. But strangely enough, I’m the most experienced. I’m the friend that “swears like a sailor” or can give you relationship advice. Nevertheless, I’m also a friend that you can lean on because I understand what it’s like to feel alone. I listen to my friends dealing with mental health because I understand what it’s like to feel like something is always wrong with you, that I’m never enough. I always feel like teenage life is hating yourself until you have reached self-acceptance. I understand that my peers smoke because their life ain’t easy, that they use smoking to help the fact that their life ain’t no piece of cake. I understand that my peers go to parties to let go of their problems and have fun. I just wish adults understood that. I’m not condoning smoking or the bad things that come with partying; however, I understand.
Giving kids an environment to be vulnerable helps them shake off their troubles without resorting to drugs.
Understanding is something I think adults lack. It’s always “You think my life’s easy?” or “You’re too young to experience anxiety/depression.” Comments like these cause kids to pick up those habits, especially if their parents do it. Giving kids an environment to be vulnerable helps them shake off their troubles without resorting to drugs. Also, “old school” parents make it harder to balance teen life. I try to use clothes and music to help balance. Yet it always turns into “You’re a representation of me, and you will dress accordingly.” Making me dress as if I’m not a teen. When I listen to music, they worry too much about the fact that the artist is cussing instead of the message.
Saying teen life isn’t easy is an understatement. As teens, we go through a lot that adults can’t understand. Each generation has their problems that they have to deal with growing up. We as teens just want adults to remember their experiences and empathize with teens to help them become independent adults, not just surviving adults.
— Onyx Abung, 15,East Arlington
This project was sponsored by UMBC and supported by the Solutions Journalism Network Complicating the Narratives fellowship of former Sun audience engagement journalist Sanya Kamidi.
